-TOEFL Writing-

·栏目说明·

持续推送近期托福考试独立写作范文解析，每篇范文都由专业写作团队编写校对，带你了解最实用的写作范文。

本期作者：徐思源

托福独立写作题目

Do you agree or disagree with the statement? 

Improving schools is the most important factor in the successful development of a country.

本文立场：同意

注：对于题干中的“success” 这个概念的同义词转换可以不拘泥于同义词，也可以找到类似的概念去替换它，例如：国家的蓬勃发展；兴旺，安定等等

同理，对于题干中的“improve schools”也不要停留在improve的同义词替换上，而可以具体写明何为“improve”，例如：扩大学校规模，提升教学质量，聘请人才做老师等。

1、It is advocated by a vast majority of people that education is an integral part of human society. However, not all people support that improving schools is necessarily the cornerstone of a country’s prosperous future. As a matter of fact, as there may be other factors deciding whether a country may thrive, they are not as important as the developments of schools.

开头段思路

开头段落的写作如果想平铺直叙，寡淡如水，可以设计出转折：

1. 先点明一个大家公认的常理（即教育很重要）→ 2. 再指出这个常理被某些人所反对 （即有别的因素更为重要） → 3. 最后一句给出本文的立场（也就是同意题干：教育就是最重要）。

词汇积累：

* Thrive v. 兴旺发展

* Prosperous adj. 繁荣的

2、Indeed, a country’s success depends on a number of factors like the state-of-the-art technology, a good international prestige, and a stable social order. However, to realize those advantages, a country should primarily develop its education system. To illustrate, a country cannottake the lead in high-tech industries unless it has a group of well-trained researchers, and a country can neither maintain the social order nor improve its image unless their policy-makers are well-educated. It thus follows that schools, where citizens are educated to get prepared, matter the most in making success happen in a country.

让步段解析

先将别的决定国家成功的因素简明扼要的列举出来 → 然后快速进入驳斥。

对于此类文章的驳斥可以充分用好 “unless” 这个小小的词汇，搭建出：别的因素不可能达成，除非先“提升学校”。这样的让步反驳的思路。

词汇积累：

* state-of-the-art technology 科技

* International prestige 国际声望

* Take the lead 带头/处于领先地位

3、There are also other reasons supporting my stance, and the primary one lies in the function of schools. 【先绕一下，点明大前提，即学校之于人才培养的重要性】→ Various educational facilities, including but not limited to high school, college and university, are where qualified talents with advanced knowledge and versatile skill sets are cultivated. 【继续绕一绕，再次点明人才的重要性】→ And such talents, as mentioned before, are undoubtedly the principal resources in a country’s prosperity. 【做好铺垫之后，一下切入主题：不好好搞学校，怎么能达到如上两个目的呢？】→ However, without expanding the scale of schools, how can we expect to see more talents contributing to the the country’s development? Likewise, without enough investment in hiring experienced experts as teachers and introducing advanced equipment to schools, how can we expect those students to be truly helpful? ←【浅显道理的讲述可以摆脱陈述句，可以写成连串的反问句】At this point, it is crystal clear that a country desiring success should primarily improve schools.

词汇积累：

* Principal resources 最重要/主要的资源

* Primarily adv. 主要的

4、In addition to the talents cultivation, the improvements of schools also help a country succeed in other areas like economy. For instance, the area I used to live in was relatively underdeveloped until several universities and high schools relocated here. With more and more students and teachers residing here to spend their four or even more years, businesses like restaurants, cafes, hotels and supermarkets mushroomed in few years, and the local economy was therefore tremendously boosted. On top of such immediate gains, this area also celebrated many intangible benefits like lower crime rates, and more complete transportation system, all of which may be attributed to the relocation of those schools. A pattern thus emerges, for the buoyanteconomy of an area or even a country, improving schools are the most effective approach.

本段解读

举例论证是最重要，也是掌握的论证手法。同学们不要忘记他。但在常见的道理→栗子这种结构之外，同时也可以尝试栗子→道理这种文章结构。

词汇积累：

* tremendously boost 大幅提升

* Mushroom v. 快速增长，迅速增长

* buoyant economy 繁荣的经济

* Until 这个小词大家可以结合其英文释义体会一下：If something happens until a specific time, it happens during the period before that time and stops at that time.

位

5、结尾段：略，重新点明立场（同意）+ 概括分论点（人才+经济）即可。

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