作者: 2023-09-15 14:59:49 阅读量:
今天,新航道天津学校小编给大家带来的是托福写作技巧,以下截图是笔者在过去一个月收到的,在托福改革之后分数下跌的部分数据。没有经过专门的新题型培训直接去参加改革考试的同学,不少都惊奇地发现--我的托福写作分数怎么缩水了?有从24-22的,25-22的,更有25-20的。
在综合没有任何变化的情况下,问题必然出现在新的题型--学术讨论上。而且需要提醒大家的是,写作最后的分数是取两个task的平均分。所以最终成绩下降了2分,意味着可能学术讨论比之前的独立下降了4分。今天我们主要讨论AD的解决方案,但是在文末有一些综合的建议。
如果同学是来寻找ETS的阴谋的话,比如刻意压分,比如技术故障,那么恐怕要失望了。但是,我们总结了分数下跌有证据支撑的三大常见原因。以下是太长不看版:
1.思路跑题
2.有效论证比例低:
或者全盘照搬旧的写作方法
或者大量重复同学回答
3.备考心态和节奏
相信大部分同学都能在这里对号入座。想要更加详细地了解这些原因和具体改进方法,且听我慢慢道来。
原因一:跑题
写作跑题的现象一直存在,只不过改革之后更严重了。原因有2:
1.新的题型当中,对于同学的“常识”考察更多了。尤其是在宏观类话题,比如政府,社会,工作,环境等被普遍认为难于教育类话题的题目。而大部分初高中的考生朋友们对这些领域关注比较少,实际经验就更加没有了。所以经常会发明出一些令成年人惊掉下巴的理由。
2.考试时间缩短,大家普遍变得焦虑,担心写不完。经常粗粗看几眼就开始动笔,导致审题不清的情况大大增加。
而且可怕的是,跑题经常是靠自己发现不了的。同学:废话,我要知道跑题就不这么写了。
题目:
We have recently read in our textbook that local or regional governments often need to reduce the amount of money budgeted in some areas in response to economic shortfalls. For instance, a city council may make the difficult decision to spend less on a certain public service for its residents. In your view, in what one or two areas should local or regional governments reduce spending when budget cuts are necessary? Why?【政府应该减少在哪些public service方面的投资】
同学:hello,我的写作成绩出来了,24(之前是26)。我也不知道怎么回事,我觉得我写得挺好的,也没跑题,字数也够。我现在很迷惑~
我:可以把考试情况复盘一下哈。AD大概怎么写的。
同学:ad写的是government可以消减在飞机上面的investment,这样可以保护环境+减少飞机杀人事故。
我:hmm……
我:1.“对飞机的投资”不算政府投资的范畴。大部分情况下airline属于business,商业投资。2.这里问的是welfare类的,infrastructure什么的。3.减少投资和减少杀人事件的关系有些牵强。飞机失事是小概率事件。
同学:有道理,明白了。
题目:
Nowadays, there is a significant problem related to student loans that is affecting many individuals. Over the next few weeks, we'll be discussing various innovations that may help address these issues. To start our discussion, I'd like you to think about one specific problem related to student loans, and then propose an effective solution to mitigate this problem.【助学贷款的问题和解决方案】
Emily
One of the major problems with student loans is the burden of high interest rates, which can make repayment incredibly challenging for borrowers. To address this, a possible solution would be for the government or lending institutions to offer lower interest rates on student loans. By reducing the interest rates, borrowers would have more manageable repayment plans, allowing them to allocate their resources towards other essential needs and investments. This would alleviate the financial strain and promote greater affordability in higher education.
David
Another problem associated with student loans is the lack of transparency and accessibility in loan repayment options. Many borrowers find it difficult to navigate through various repayment plans and understand their eligibility for loan forgiveness or income-driven repayment programs. To overcome this, an effective solution would involve simplifying and streamlining the loan repayment process.
同学回答:
对于学生贷款,我认为它给学生带来的财务压力可能是一个问题。这是因为学生必须做很多额外的工作来偿还他们的学生贷款。更具体地说,学生必须在学习的同时工作,学生必须确保自己的学习成绩,同时赚取足够的钱来偿还贷款。学生在日常生活中可能会感到非常疲惫。此外,学生很容易在学期末取得不好的成绩,因为他们没有足够的时间复习……
我:跑题了。3分哈~
同学:老师为什么给学生制造压力就不算是students loans产生的问题呢?
我:1.这个是解决不了的;2.loan本来是件好事情,带来压力是必然的。这么回答就好像说“助学贷款的问题就是学生需要偿还。”你参考一下两个同学的回答(他们给的都是更加宏观的问题)。
上面两个例子属于比较离谱的跑题。还有部分偏题,即论证重点偏差或者正面论证少反面论证多等等类型。比如:
题目:
In the past, progresses in science and technology were generally slow. However, in recent decades, the pace of technological progress has dramatically accelerated, with new discoveries and inventions almost every day. Some argue that the rapid advancement of science and technology is beneficial for society as a whole and should be encouraged. Others believe that this progress is happening too quickly and may lead to serious issues. Which viewpoint do you agree with? 【科技进步利大于弊还是弊大于利】
同学回答:
虽然我欣赏克莱尔对科学技术快速进步的乐观态度,特别是在医学领域,但我发现自己更赞同安德鲁的谨慎观点。技术的快速发展需要劳动力技能的快速适应,特别是对于失业者来说。麦肯锡的研究表明,虽然到 2030 年自动化可能会颠覆多达 30% 的工作,但它也可能为那些致力于持续学习的人带来新的角色和领域。毫无疑问,政府和行业有责任促进技能提升和再培训,但失业者也有责任积极应对这种不断变化的就业形势。务实的策略是投资于与新兴技术和就业领域产生共鸣的技能。例如,Udemy 等平台提供人工智能课程,让学习者处于技术前沿。通过主动提高技能以应对快速的技术进步,个人可以更好地驾驭和适应不断变化的就业市场。
论证更像是在给因为科技进步而失业的人的建议,而非科技进步的弊端。回答的确提到了一些科技的影响,但是篇幅太小了。
解决方案
1.总是跑题的同学,稳妥起见,可以结合student response给出自己的拓展。
2.只对于特定类型跑题,比如因为没有政府类话题的常识的同学,平时可以扩大阅读量,读读新闻。
3.偶尔跑题的同学,可能是论证方式需要调整。比如可以看看自己的表达是不是不够直接~
注:还没有确定自己是否跑题的同学,可以找老师或者其他同学诊断一下。
虽然我知道大家很着急,但是先别急。有些题目是有限制条件的,比如:
Today we’re going to talk about the impact of artificial intelligence (AI) on the workforce. AI has the potential to revolutionize the way we work, offering both benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, AI can increase efficiency and productivity, allowing for more streamlined and accurate processes. On the other hand, there is a concern that AI may replace human workers, leading to job loss and economic instability. What's your opinion about the impact of artificial intelligence on the way we work?
题目的subject是AI,但是问题是AI对于workforce的影响。所以如果写成AI让我们的日常生活更方便,就跑题了。应该写,AI能够提高工作效率。
再比如:
Today, we're going to discuss whether or not the government should provide free preschool education for all children. On one hand, preschool education has been shown to have many benefits for children. On the other hand, providing free preschool education would be costly for the government and taxpayers. What do you think? Should the government provide free preschool education for all? Why?
题目的subject是preschool education,但是问题不是应不应该上学前班,而是政府应不应该提供免费的学前班。所以如果写,学前班能够让小孩学到知识,就跑题了。应该写,这样能够促进教育公平。
解决方案
原因二:有效论证比例低
完全照搬独立的写作方法
之前独立写作的展开方法不是不可以使用,但是不能够丝毫不加改变地搬用。AD=之前独立的一个主体段这个说法,百分之八十正确--这二者之间还是有差距的。
新的AD写作需要文章纯度更高。之前独立一个主体段150,例子洋洋洒洒占一半,得一个4分还是很有希望的。现在,3.5就不错了--毕竟原来写400词,没有功劳也有苦劳。现在只要130+,还跟我扯有的没的凑字数,那就不好意思了。
比如:
题目:
As I mentioned in class, governments make public policies to describe their responses to various problems that affect a community. Part of this process involves setting and defending priorities about which issues deserve the most attention and resources. For example, governments need to decide whether they should spend more money on education or on environmental protections. If you were a policy maker, which issue would you argue is more important—education or environmental protections? Why?【政府应该投资教育还是环境?】
同学回答:
I totally agree with Kelly's viewpoint that government should spend more money on environmental protection. In this way, citizen satisfaction can be increased since a safe and beautiful living environment can help them to maintain healthy both mentally and physically. Take my community as a compellying example of this. It used to be a heavily polluted area with a lack of vegetation and dirty ponds. Residents living there were depressed every day and often suffer from deseases. However, subsequent environmental remediation turned the place to a perfect living area with many green trees surrounded. Consequently, people who live there became happier and were able to participate in community activities more actively.
分析:
例子长且缺乏细节,新信息少;
总结没有必要,占据了有效内容的字数,新信息少。
所以分数肯定超不过3.5。
语言错误的容错也降低了。具体变化大家可以参考新旧文章评分标准。
旧:
新:
5分的用词要求从appropriate word choice变成了precise word choice。Appropriate则降到了4分段。
语言错误从原来的may have minor errors变成了almost no errors。Few errors则降到了4分段。
大量重复同学A/B的答案
大家不要被“学术讨论”这个名字迷惑。无论是题目说明还是评分标准,都没有对于“和同学答案互动”做出要求。
当然,这并不是说同学回答是洪水猛兽。在没有思路的情况下,可以借鉴同学的立场和理由。
解决方案:
1.微调AD的文章框架:
·尽量少用长例子,多用理由和细节
·可以给到两个reason
·减少对于同学回答的重复。比如开放式话题,完全可以给出新立场,丝毫不理会两位同学的回答。
·尽量少一些总结性内容,尤其是对于立场的总结
2.总结自己平时的语言错误,整理笔记,弄清楚到底什么是对的,避免下次重蹈覆辙。
原因三:备考心态
因为考试时间的缩短,考试场次的增加(当然还有申请季的接近),同学们在考试频次上逐渐失去了理智。不管我有没有时间备考,先报了再说。一个月报它个两三回,万一哪一次就撞大运了呢?
对于这样的同学,我只想说。
被ETS割的韭菜还不够么!!大家听说过哪位同学是靠碰运气达到理想分数的呢?或许几分的变化还有可能,但是要实现大突破,必须先学习啊!!!
在改革前我们就预警过大家,改革之后提分只会更难不会更简单。快节奏的考试对于大家的熟练度有更高的要求。熟练度不是靠一次次实考提高的,是靠平时的模考--复盘--针对性练习。毕竟,中国人都知道,台上一分钟,台下十年功。
解决方案:
制作一个牌匾 “考试不能帮我提分”, 挂在床头。
或者科学备考:正确的备考+提分是有科学规律的。以90分作为一个门槛,如果大家刚刚经过暑假的疯狂备考从七十多提到了90,那么下一次提到100+,将需要至少2个月的时间每天付出2h左右的备考时间。大家可以根据自己的情况,包括目前分数,每天可以学习托福的时间,来估算一下有效报考的时间。
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